2015

In 2014, I’ve uncovered a deeper truth about how the universe works. It’s as if I’ve unlocked the secret formula for all types of natural phenomena, and I can now use this information to manage my life more effeciently. Greater value, less stress. How promising, huh?

This uncovering happened a few days ago when I stumbled upon a documentary promoting “the Secret,” which basically says that if we think about something, it will happen to us because we will attract it through some metaphysical giving off of mental energy. It’s just so bogus.  First of all, it violates the actual laws of attraction, which clearly states that positive attracts negative. Second of all, Jason Statham isn’t mine to have and hold. Transporter, the Ocean’s Eleven cast, and a long list of boyfriends. Some dreams just don’t come true. Really.

We put such a premium on living a charmed life that we tend to beat ourselves up for things not going according to plan. Our plan.  And we invent all these strategies—visualization, charms, mantra – to get exactly what we want only to be disappointed because we failed or because we succeeded but having arrived doesn’t feel the way we thought it would.  It’s not only exhausting it seems to run contrary to how things fall into place.

The truth is we don’t have as much control over our lives as we would like to believe. This is of course not to say that it's okay to slack off. Best effort should be as standard as pooping. However messy (even painful) it gets, it's simply good for you. Force it. We work with the universe as best as we can.  We make the most of what it makes available, and we say thanks. Sometimes that’s the best that we can do.

Because the laws of natural science and economics have been clear about one thing: if it is physically possible, things move from places of abundance to places of absence. Matter will settle in gaps and cracks. Salt will get away from saturation. Invention and innovation arise from need.  Things somehow find themselves where they are needed with no consideration whatsoever for the stomping of human feet.

Because I work in this industry, I’d like to sneak this in. The Philippines has put in place a spot market for electricity trading, and people are complaining constantly that electricity is more expensive in certain nodes.  That’s supposedly the free market’s fault. Actually, the electricity spot market is by design prescriptive. It shows us all where the gaps are and it drives investment in that direction.  When we know where supply is deficient (the rates are higher), it is easier to spread the money invested in power facilities more evenly. Let’s endure the spikes for a little while; it won’t stay that way for long. This system is better than subsidy. 

What can alms really do for us anyway?  I have really decided not to ask for anything. Not in the larger scheme of things, not during the daily rat race where my hopes and dreams begin. If my job gets taken away from me, I’ll just find something else to do. There are too many talents fighting over limited opportunities just to win for winning's sake. The fight  for the top spot itself renders so many efforts pointless. There is always an unglamorous seemingly minor task out there waiting to be done.  Somebody has got to do that.

Let’s not race to love either. It just isn’t something we win.  Its easier to find something that fits right once we better understand the gaps in ourselves. (Not that kind of gap.  Don’t be gross.) Healthy relationships start from understanding where we are...errr...slightly deficient.

And maybe this is the year I get to find opportunities in neglected markets.  Who knows?  I have a strong feeling that there's money scattered over roads less travelled and largely ignored.

It seems everything is pushed and pulled not by wants but by needs.  At the close of 2014, it made the most sense to just withdraw from the rat race and find places where people need something that I can adequately provide. 

So I dont want anything specific at the start of this brand new year. Just tell me this 2015, “What can I do for you?”

Forgiveness

I was going over Ayn Rand quotes because friends of mine on two separate occasions (and they don’t even know each other) said I needed a good dose of her writing and general life philosophy.  Something like this one:

“Man's unique reward, however, is that while animals survive by adjusting themselves to their background, man survives by adjusting his background to himself. “ -Ayn Rand

That’s a loving way of saying “toughen up.” When I was done with that, I moved on to quotes by topics.  Strangely enough, it was forgiveness that caught my eye.

“Forgiveness is not a feeling - it's a decision we make because we want to do what's right before God. “- Joyce Meyer

“Holding on to anger, resentment and hurt only gives you tense muscles, a headache and a sore jaw from clenching your teeth. Forgiveness gives you back the laughter and the lightness in your life.” - Joan Lunden

I never really understood why we should make an effort to forgive people.  I find equally perplexing the claim that it will make me feel any better.  I will stand by that even if that means all those that I have wronged will never ever forgive me.  That’s the price I pay for having wronged them in the first place. It’s a painful price but it’s part of taking responsibility.

And it’s not true that forgiveness is hard. It has always been easy for everybody.  For those I love and trust, an apology or an elaborate "making up" gesture isn't even necessary. Just a little bit of time going by is enough for everything to be forgotten. The most valuable people in my life treat me the same way.

People are wired to build relationships rather than break them down, and this need to belong to a community, a circle of friends, or a pair is the breeding ground for our worst and best qualities like flakiness, pretensions, and dishonesty, but also friendship, loyalty, and forgiveness. Many forms of hate stem from rejection, and love is really nothing more than being embraced. Not being able to process and eventually understand these feelings lead to divisiveness, but in our hearts of hearts, we’ve always wanted be with each other and in harmony.

So all this talk about forgiveness being hard as though it requires effort to give to another person is inaccurate.  People forgive people in a heartbeat.  It’s trust that’s hard because when something has been done to us, we worry that it will happen again. And this is a valid fear. 

First, distrust is formed not by one incident but a SERIES of them.  Second, it is uncommon for people to work on what makes them do the bad things that they do. If, in the first place, they consider it bad. Many times, people just want the convenience of peace or at least the appearance of it because being disliked is unbearable or embarrassing. As beautiful as life is it comes with two hard truths: It is rare to come across a genuine apology, and some people need to hurt somebody else to resolve whatever it is that they're going through.

Contrary to what these quotes suggest, the truth is everyone knows that everyone else forgives and forgets easily so “mistakes” are easier to make. There are people in my life whom I decidedly don’t forgive even though I probably already have (if that makes any sense). They say such an attitude will add to your burden, but on the contrary, it is in being unforgiving that I've found peace.

Understandably, those who were counting on me being over it by now aren't feeling too hot. But that's not my problem.